Question: My parents think that there is something wrong with today’s generation. They think that today’s generation needs a lot of self help courses and marriage and parenting guidance because people can’t think for themselves anymore. Is there truth to what they think about this generation? Are we a spoon fed generation that can’t follow our own sechel anymore? My personal opinion is that these self help courses are a bracha! We are so lucky to be in a generation where there is so much education and awareness. What is your opinion?
Answer: It is true that there is an explosion of courses, articles and books on almost every subject involving self help and mental health. It is true that a generation ago there was little awareness and education about mental health. What changed? After the Holocaust there was a lack of focus on emotional health. That generation had gone through unimaginable traumas and in the aftermath the only way they could cope was by blocking out their emotions and focusing on giving their children physical comfort and financial security. Life was also really hard so they didn’t have time to focus on emotions. They were busy trying to feed their families. However due to the prosperity of our times, we have a lot of time to invest in ourselves and our family’s emotional well-being. Also we have little tolerance for discomfort and are constantly seeking ways to make everything easier for us. The previous generation’s secular world also did not recognize the role of mental health in childhood development. They have come around in the last 100 years to being extremely focused on emotional needs. Due to the previous generation’s neglect of an individual’s emotional experience, this generation is very needy emotionally and struggling with a lot of emotional challenges. In order to address the emotional challenges of our times there has been an influx of education and awareness on the topic. The problem is that a lot of the education comes from secular sources and the excessive focus on emotional health has created new challenges. There used to be a certain emunah peshuta, and seichal hayashar that this generation lacks. The extreme focus on mental and emotional health has created many wonderful things, to name a few, the many chessed organizations that focus on the needs of the individual. We are much better equipped to handle children with learning disabilities and challenged children. Your parents do have a valuable point that the excessive focus on mental health and making everything easier for us has created a generation with less resilience and less emotional strength. I think the pendulum has swung far to the extreme, and with time will land somewhere in the middle. For now we should all avail ourselves of whatever we need to become better wives and mothers of klal yisroel. We need to be careful though that the education we are getting is Torah based or at least congruent with Torah values, and that it will make us stronger people and bring us closer to Hashem.